I’m over last week’s bout of uber-flu and feeling (mostly) human again. And to celebrate my return to form I’m gonna look at some of the coolest dudes in sci fi. They’re the ones we’d happily pick to be on our team …… if they’d have us. Which they probably wouldn’t. ‘Cause these are the men and women you probably wouldn’t describe as ideal team players – they’ll break the rules or make up their own, they’ll ignore authority when it suits them and they’re as likely to roll right over you as help you. If they are in a team they’ll want to be leader. Oh, and they have truck loads of attitude. And they’re cool, seriously cool.
What makes Snake cool:
He’s a Special Forces soldier turned criminal; he goes into the lawless hell-hole formerly known as Manhattan to rescue the President and his cassette tape with its ‘vital information on nuclear fusion’; everyone in Manhattan’s heard of Snake but thinks he’s already dead; he rescues the Pres but double crosses the authorities with the cassette tape.
unique cool: the eyepatch
Hauk: You going to kill me, Snake?
Snake: Not now, I’m too tired (pause) Maybe later.
What makes Ripley cool:
Tough; decisive; resourceful; no time for company men; she locks’n’loads to fight the alien – and wins; finds to time to save a pet; has the guts to go back and fight the alien again; finds time to save a kid; gets cloned but still ends up fighting the alien.
unique cool: fights the alien queen with a loader.
Ripley: Get away from her you BITCH!
What makes Morpheus cool:
Leads the crew of the Nebuchadnezzar; awesome fight skills; enemy of the Matrix; total committment to finding ‘the One’; deep philosophical musings
unique cool: shades.
Morpheus: Neo, sooner or later you’re going to realize just as I did that there’s a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.
What makes Han cool:
Captain of the Millennium Falcon; smuggler; becomes part of the rebel alliance; handy with a blaster; survives being frozen in a block of carbonite.
unique cool: best buds with a Wookie.
Han: Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.
What makes Billy cool:
He’s aware of the Predator long before anyone else; has major tracking skills; man of few words; throws his guns away to go head to head with the Predator.
unique cool: a mean looking knife
Billy: There’s something out there waiting for us, and it ain’t no man.
What makes Malcolm cool:
He’s a mathematician with a nice line in flippant asides; he sees the dangers in cloning extinct species – and doesn’t fail to rub everyone’s nose in it; he survives being chased by a T. Rex – and can still make a joke about it.
unique cool: scientist brain with rock star image
Dr Alan Grant: You married?
Dr Ian Malcolm: Occasionally.
What makes Connor cool:
mother of John Connor; implacable enemy of Skynet; can break out of maximum security; wants to change the future; handy with a gun
unique cool: transformation from fluffy-haired waitress to ripped ninja
Sarah Connor: Oh come on. Do I look like the mother of the future? I mean, am I tough, organised? I can’t even balance my check book.
What makes Vasquez cool:
one of the Colonial Marines sent to investigate the disappearance of the colony on LV-426, the planet where the alien was first encountered; cocky and wise-cracking but gets down to business once the aliens appear; gets burned by alien acid; dies but takes some aliens with her.
unique cool: red bandanna, big gun
Hudson: Hey, Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?
Pvt. Vasquez: No, have you?
What makes Reynolds cool:
Captain of the Serenity; fought the Alliance; does whatever’s needed to survive; keeps doing good despite himself.
unique cool: Brown duster
Mal Reynolds: You all wanna be looking very intently at your own belly buttons. I see a head start to rise, violence is going to ensue.
What makes Adama cool:
Commander of the Galactica; decisive; authoritative; tough; firm; inspires loyalty; just; pragmatic; willing to go up against a superior; cool under pressure; military leader of the remnants of humanity. So Say We All.
unique cool: gravelly voice, the stare
Lee Adama: I didn’t know we were picking sides.
Bill Adama: That’s why you haven’t picked one yet.